Saturday, February 6, 2016

Parenting 101 (A little something I wrote in 2012)

God has laid Student Ministries on my heart during this season of my life.  So when I read material that is in line with this calling, "training a child in the way he should go", I tend to perk up a bit.  I am in the final week of my morning Bible Study "Experiencing God".  You guessed it...the focus was on my role as a parent.  Now I know we are taught not to have expectations of others because God has created us for a specific purpose, genuine originals in the Kingdom.  This is especially true of our children. (I urge you to read Psalm 139:13-17...God is so good!)  I had to take a trip down "memory lane"...a 17 year journey...and look at, no review the many expectations I have heaped upon my children.
So what's my point?  I should not be parenting my children to meet MY expectations.  I should be parenting to the expectations...better yet...the purposes God has for my three children...each created for a different purpose, with differently personalities...God's very own collectibles in the Kingdom placed in my care.  I should be asking my children questions like "What do you think God wants you to do for Him in the future?" or when they come to me for advice (as Blackaby suggests) "What do you think God wants you to do?"  I have to teach my children to seek God not my human, sinful advice that may potentially lead them off the beat and path of where God purposes them.  I should often ask, "What has God taught you lately?", so my children can see God at work in their lives and in the lives of those they come in contact with...to truly have a Godly experience themselves.
My study lists three things that all Christian parents should do to help our children foster a healthy love relationship with our Lord and Savior.
  1. We should pray with and for our children daily.
  2. We should talk to and with them about God's activity in their lives and in the lives as the family as a whole.
  3. We should model for our children by ministering with them.
My big lesson this morning:  I need to pray about the way I parent my blessings and let go of my own expectations and focus more on their walk with God and His purpose for each of them individually.
As my Pastor would say..."The more I know...the more I know I don't know."
Dear most gracious heavenly Father - I come humbly at your feet this morning and ask forgiveness for the expectations I have heaped upon the shoulders of my children, forgive me for putting my purposes ahead of  your own...essentially playing God and thinking I know more than you.   Forgive my disobedience and lack of maturity in regards to parenting.  Help me to see the individual uniqueness in each of my children, help me to discern your will for each of their lives and finally, give me the wisdom and knowledge to go forward..bringing them up in your love and admonition.  I claim this prayer in the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Return of the Blogger!



      So life happened!  These past few years have been absolutely insane and  a major test of faith.  Okay, so here is the full story.

     A few years back, my husband was laid off.  He had worked at this company a little over 10 years.  It was a blow...to his pride, to our finances, and at times to our walk.  He took on part time work where he could, but work in his field had dried up.  Eventually, we realized that we were going to get to a point where we wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage, buy food, and pay all the other bills we had.  So we called the mortgage company to see if we could work out a hardship kind of deal.  After listening to our situation they informed us they couldn't help.  You see, we were making payments, we were not behind.  In order to have assistance...well. 

     Needless to say, we got to a point where we were no longer making the mortgage payment.  So we tried again.  Still no help.  Now we were going to go into foreclosure!  We sucked it up and decided we were not going to wait out the years of bad credit, not knowing when the house would actually be taken, and all the stress and anxiety that comes with a foreclosure.  We were going to short sale the house!   Wouldn't you know it, as soon as we made that decision my husband was contacted for an interview.  Yay, we were so overjoyed!  One catch.  It was in Hollywood, Florida.  We were currently located in Tampa and in the middle of trying to short sale a home and eventually pack.  Here is where the "comedy of errors" begins.

    Not long after the interview my husband was offered the position.  That meant he would go down immediately and begin looking for a place to rent.  (We could no longer buy because we were short selling a home.)  I would stay at home with the kids, wrap up my job at the church, short sale the house, pack up the house with my oldest daughter during her weekend visits, and drive the U-haul containing our life down to Hollywood.  Scott found a little place to rent for himself in the beginning and by little I mean a galley kitchen that I am convinced was at one point a porch.  It also had a "bedroom" with a walk-in closet that led to the small bathroom.  That was it!  Well, the short sale went through, the packing was a success, and the rest was history.  No wait...nothing ever wraps up that neatly!  Did I forget to mention that my 14 year old son, 10 year old daughter and I had to move into my parents house in Plant City until we found a place in Hollywood to move the entire family?  No, of course I didn't.

    My parents live in a 3 bedroom with 1-1/2 bathroom.  So doing the math that is 3 adults, a rapidly growing teenage boy and a sweet little princess.  Not bad...but add in the fact that my 20 something year old nephew lives with them and they babysit my neice about 12 hours a day (give or take on a school day).  Let me tell ya!  It was almost as tight as a situation as Scott had living in his little abode.  Okay...back on point.  Prior to ALL of us moving to my parents, once the house was packed into the 20' U-Haul, it was my job to drive it down so we could place everything in storage.  My dad took the kids and I hit the road...with a cat who hates to travel.  Four and a half hours later I reached my destination.  Took the cat inside and my husband treated me to a nice dinner.  We went back to "his place" and passed out!  The next day we drove the truck to the storage facility, unpacked it and went house hunting...nothing!  The next day I boarded the train back to  my children.  After a few more months, a few visits, and another failed house hunting attempt we had to make the hard decision to live apart for awhile.  I would set up "home base" in Plant City, get the kids registered for school, find a rental, and a job.  Scott would continue to work in Hollywood apart from his family and seek employment closer to us.  What does that mean?  It meant another long road trip.  This time I enlisted help.  Just imagine myself, my 18 year old daughter, my 19 year old niece and my son all piled into my PT Cruiser on the way down to Hollywood.  We laughed, we sang and we prayed.  Prayed that my junky PT Cruiser would make the trip there and back!  So why did I take that crew with me?  We had to go back to the storage facility, load up all the furniture and drive it back to Plant City to our new rental...and unload it!  I drove the truck...solo...no one wanted to ride back with ole mom!  Christina drove the cruiser, Elizabeth rode shotgun and Jordon sat in the back with the cat.  Again, hating to travel, she relieved herself on Jordon about 10 minutes into the 4.5 hour drive!  What a long day!   My 70+ year old dad and some other family members helped unload the U-Haul and Christina and I stayed up all night and unpacked and got the house set up so the younger two could "come home."  All in all my family was separated for a little over 6 months before the Good Lord reunited us under one roof.   Since that time we have moved once more.  This house has central heat and air, 2 bathrooms and everyone has a room.  It is definitely a step up, but we are still very thankful for what God had provided in the interim...we had a roof over our head and food on the table!

    After a year, Scott faced another lay-off.  This time around he knew what to expect and didn't waste any time getting back out there.  He went on a few interviews and finally found employment after a month or so.  It ended up not being where God had intended and he has since taken another position.  One where he is more comfortable, more accomplished, and where he feels he could retire.  Should I mention he has also taken a side job!  My daughter, Christina, got married and spent the first year of marriage separated from her husband, Evan,  in part due to his deployment to Afghanistan.  They now live in Massachusetts where my son-in-law continues to serve our country in Air Force.   Our two younger children have been blessed to spend their high school and middle school years in a small town with good people, good friends, and a wonderful family atmosphere.  I worked for awhile with an accounting firming, did a stint as a closer at the local DQ, and attempted to muck stalls.  The 3 jobs at once took their toll on my family and me, so two of them had to go.  Eventually I put in my month resignation at the accounting firm and now am an office administrator for a Global Sports Alliance and I couldn't be happier. 

     We still have hurdles and bumps.  Like my son and the PT Cruiser debacle ... a story for another day.  (Just know I am now the proud owner of a Chevy Malibu!)  But God has walked with us every step of the way.  Looking back through these years I can see His hands at work in our lives.  I know you may not see it when you read through my story, but I can.  We were apart those months and longed for family so when family was reunited it was appreciated.  We lived without a lot of amenities, like a/c and heat, like a real kitchen or doorways that you could walk through without having to duck, or a bathroom you could get to without having to go through someones bedroom, but...we could see the blessing in the midst.  Even though we had little, we still had more than most.      
     I can say the one thing we didn't stop was our tithing.  God first...ALWAYS!  I DO believe because we were faithful in our tithing HE was faithful to meet our needs in His time and in His way.  Again, life isn't perfect...but He is and that is all that matters in the end!   He has brought us through these past two and a half years and what an amazing journey it has been.  Praise Jesus and thank you Lord for being so merciful.  Thank you Holy Spirit for your comfort in our time of need.


Long story short....Hi folks, I am back!!!



Thursday, February 20, 2014

Take Flight by Robin Jones Gunn and Cindy Hannan

When I first opened up the book and began to read I found myself belly-laughing out loud...and relating.  This little book draws you in so quickly.  The word pictures that are painted throughout as they describe the goings on of life are masterfully painted.  This is the first sisterchick book I have read and I know I want to go back and read the others...I don't want to miss out on a thing!  

Take Flight made me yearn for a sisterchick! I just love this definition:  SISTERCHICK n.: a friend who shares the deepest wonders of your heart, loves you like a sister, and provides a reality check when you're being a brat!

We are all looking for those real...meaningful relationships in life.  And it truly isn't about the quantity of friends, but the quality of friendships. And unfortunately, but fortunately...lovely little nuggets like these help you to take a step back and RE-evaluate your friendships...not just what you are receiving, but what you are giving away.

Definitely a GREAT Women's Ministry study and one I would recommend to anyone who is truly seeking Godly relationships!